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I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Pizza is my favorite winter activity
I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
Am I the only one that always puts my wallet back into my pocket before getting my change back?
I was like "No, Pepsi is NOT ok. I wanted a Coke." And she was all "Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies."
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
No man has ever won a game of `notice anything different about me?`
I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
My girlfriend wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn`t have sex.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.