Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I`m in 3rd.
People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds.
It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.
I just realized that the only time I`m good at dancing is when I`m about to pee my pants
If things always went according to a plan…. life wouldn’t be interesting.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
I never want to go to sleep less than I do at bed time.
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?