Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Trust me, you want me medicated!!
Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
French people give me the crepes.
“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
Pretty considerate of germs to count all the way to five before jumping on the food we drop.
I`m always extra nice to the weird kid, so one day he`ll spare my life when he finally snaps.
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
In my will, I´m giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesn´t say a word.
You can tell how much a woman hates her husband by how short she cuts her hair.
I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.