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Why do baby clothes have pockets?
I thought we had something. You met my family, made us dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
I need coffee in my life more than I need most people.
Happy "Another excuse to drink" Day!
We`re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
I was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill. People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
When I`m at the mall, I carry a purse around so people think I have a girlfriend.
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
If it wasn`t for physics and law enforcement, I`d be unstoppable.
hilarious
I went by the Gym today. Its the third time this week............. One of these day`s I might actually go in.
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........