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I believe in equality. If we have five days of work, then we should have five day weekends as well.
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
"Let`s give the bad guy a ponytail." - 80s movies
I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
times new roman walks into a bar. "sorry, we don`t serve your type."
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
We all make mistakes .... I just do it better than everyone else.
I`m currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It`s called b*tches and hoes
Apparently, you shouldn’t ask your wife if she’s off her meds more than once a week…
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.