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I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
Life is like a box of chocolates and you`re on a diet so you can`t even enjoy it.
I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn`t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
if a guy tells you you`re ugly ; he wants you, if a girl tells you your ugly; she`s jealouse, if you a kid tells you your`re ugly..... you`re ugly.
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them.
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?