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So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
That moment you realize that the person who proofread Hitler`s speeches was indeed a Grammar Nazi.
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
A leaf blower, but for people.
When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones? I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?
You know you`re old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
I get very annoyed when people mix up there, they`re and their. From now on I`m going to point it out, weather they like it or not.
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.