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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
If it were easy then everyone would act like me.
For years I thought hitchhikers were just complimenting my driving.
To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
Today is "find your active cavity at 50% off" day at your local store.
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Bands who can`t afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert