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If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
The truth is, men put the lids on jars that tight so you’d need us, we’re not that stupid.
Your things are terrific.
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
I just want to be rich enough to tell my boss, "you`re not the boss of me"!
People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.
I hate when I`m about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.