Daily Silly Status

You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.

I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...

There are a thousand better ways to spend your time and yet here you are with me.

Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.

Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere

Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.

If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me

This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.

They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.

According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.

My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.

I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.

I`ve decided that from now on I`m going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. It`s kind of fun... "Dean, what are you doing this weekend?" "That`s a great question -- and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back, and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend, I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should." "But what are you doing?" "What I`m g

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.

Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?