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My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."
How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
Dwjxdjdhjfrjfjhrha! Sorry--you will get a more coherent status update AFTER I`ve had my coffee!
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
Mark my words: In a year, the leading cause of death will be “Beaten to death with a selfie stick”
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
I want one of those jobs where people ask, “Do you actually get paid for doing this?”
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
Dear human, you get mad when i wake you up and also get mad when i dont. Sincerely confused, Alarm Clock.