Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means he can eat anything off the floor if he waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
I think salads help you lose weight because they`re gross and you end up not eating them
Sometimes I write "This is a hold up. I have a gun." in the memo of the checks I write for people and pray they cash them at the teller.
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
A smile is the same in every language, I`m pretty sure the pee pee dance is too
It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
Bored? Simply send a text message to a random number saying..."I`m Pregnant!"
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
I think girls secretly enjoy putting guys in the friend zone
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.