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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
I still miss my ex. But my aim is gettin` better.
Just changed my dating profile headline to: “Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives” …crossing my fingers.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
If I pat you on the back, there`s a 99% chance that I`m only using you as a napkin
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
If you ever think someone’s too cute to talk to just remember that they poop too.
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
The reason swans mate for life is because they don`t talk.
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.
I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....