Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I got drunk last night and watched the most hilarious television show for hours until I sobered up and realized it was just a mirror.
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
It`s so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way up!
I propose a toast to the booze for making life seem tolerable.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
I`m just going to start wearing a shirt to work that says "I`m good, thanks for asking."
I feel sorry for people who don`t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?