Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger`s property and make a non-negotiable demand.
Why do blurry people always ask me if Iām drunk?
If I drunk text you and you`re sleeping, don`t text me in the morning. That ship has sailed.
I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink at night.
Is there a 5-second Rule for when you drop babies? ...Asking for a friend. JK people!!! LOL ;)
I can`t wait for Taylor Swift to break up with a black guy, so she can write a rap album!
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
Taken names of employees from various stores and calling in sick for them, just to make it feel like I have a job. . .
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.
I`ve got worms !!!! ......... worms in me garden