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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
I once tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nose.
I`ve just borrowed a book on surgery from my local library. Apparently someone`s taken the appendix out.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
I`ll take "who the f*ck would know that" for $600, Alex.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter.
Every woman needs a shoulder to cry on, a shoulder to lean on and a shoulder to hold her bra strap on!!!
Everytime I find the key to happiness, somebody changes the lock.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
When I text someone and they dont text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from overexcitement.
Iām just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.