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The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I’d say it’s been a success.
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
I hope Breaking Bad ends with Jesse waking up from a dream in the middle of Mr. White`s chemistry class.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
Walmart needs observation decks.
Golf is finally starting to pay off. I just signed a contract with Nike for a large sum of money in return for agreeing never to be seen playing with any of their equipment.
A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, `What would Jesus do?`, so I turned it into wine ... Well, I bought wine.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye