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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Tonight’s forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
Remember when the world ended last year?
Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
Why is it that flies can get in your car so easy, but can`t figure out how to escape with all the windows down.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
There should be a law requiring you to explain what gluten is before you’re allowed to complain about it.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
Really offended that these microwave instructions told me to turn my burrito over gently like I don`t treat every burrito with the utmost respect
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.