Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whenever I’m bored I stop a stranger and ask “where am I?” and whatever they say I runaway screaming “Hahaha I’m a genius! I can teleport!”
why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
Go ahead caller 9!!
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, sex with strangers. You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad"
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
Just once I`d like to see a stripper do the "Carlton" on stage.
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.