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Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
I always keep a spare pair of shoes at work that I change into so people don`t know it`s me when I`m taking a dump.
sometimes... late at night... i rearrange traffic signs. people need to be challenged.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
I’m so broke this New Years Im gonna party like its $19.99.
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
Are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
I like working from home. It`s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.