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The sole purpose of a child`s middle name, is so he can tell when he`s really in trouble.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
When someone says “You just made my day,” it makes my day.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered is god playing angry birds hmm
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.