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I`ve tried several times, but I can`t pet a cat without plotting world domination.
Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
Whenever I`m sad, you`re there. Whenever I`m having problems, you`re always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you`re always there. Lets face it. You`re bad luck.
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
There`s a reason why natural disasters have female names.
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
My New Years Resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic...I wonder how long this bull$hit fantasy will last.
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.