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If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
Ever notice how the automatic flush sensors in public restrooms kinda look like hidden cameras?
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: ‘last warning, you have a week to get the money together.’
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
If cockroaches can survive atomic bombs and chemical warfare, what the f*ck is in a can of Raid?
I don`t drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
Side effects of telling your wife to get a grip may include throat bruising or testicular swelling.
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?