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Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they`re not passing you some fake sh!t.
It`s a good thing Taylor Swift and Adele aren`t dating. Imagine if they broke up.
Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I`m out in public. Thanks.
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
All you need is WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn`t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn`t, use the tape.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
life is short play naked
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!
Iām always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
I`m so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn`t think it would go THIS far..... sorry
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.