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I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I`m out in public. Thanks.
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
My car rides usually consist of playing my music on random, then pressing “next” about 400 times.
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
It`s time to take the next big step in my relationship by popping the question to my girlfriend ....will you get me a beer :) (<>..<>)
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......
Masturbating in front of your partner in the hope that she’ll join does not always work. And people on the bus stare at you.
I get butterflies in my stomach every time I eat butterflies.