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For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
is in no shape to exercise
Lazy is a very strong word, I like to call it “selective participation.”
I`m at an age where I no longer want to marry a doctor for his money, but rather for the prescription medications he can provide.
Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
My parents are visiting. So I pretty much know how much gas cost everywhere.
The last time I was someone`s type, I was donating blood.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment.
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.