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You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
RUN? I thought you said Rum. I quit.
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I`d say it`s been a success.
You took the time to make your minivan look like a reindeer, but you can`t take one second to hit the turn signal an inch from your fingers?
Vegans think they will live longer than us, but they don`t realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation.
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
I haven`t lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
I wish tanning beds could pop you out like a toaster when you`re finished.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?
I lost my ladder when I was very young but I was fortunate to have such a great step-ladder to raise me ...anytime I couldn`t reach anything
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.