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My minivan is always rocking, but it`s usually because I`m trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
If you speak too slowly, I will complete all your sentences in my mind in ways that makes your story much more interesting
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
Diet plan: make friends fatter
Why procrastinate today when you can procrastinate tomorrow?
Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
When I first went on the pill, I put on some weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
The real reason I’m not a superhero…. Pockets, I need my pockets.