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I donate blood 5 times a year just so I`m less and less related to some of my relatives.
I`ve been married to my wife 10 years today. Having sex with just one person in 10 years is pure dedication. I don`t know how she does it.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
I got so drunk last night I tried picking up every woman in the bar and now my back is killing me!
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”