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You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch isn`t that bad. It`s kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping......with a really angry bear nearby.
Relationships should come with an icon that shows you how much time you have left like your phone’s battery.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
Why has someone not invented a see-through toaster yet?
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
Remembering to remember is always the first thing I forget.
i dont have drain bramage.