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Screw it, Iām starting Friday now.
Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I`ve been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
Sleeping alone is a complete waste of my sexual talent.....
Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
Law enforcement`s cracking down on texting while driving, but there`s no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
I saw a sign at a cafe that said, "shoes must be worn." I was upset, because my shoes were brand new.
I love when people dig their own grave. It saves me so much time.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in a court of law someday.
I thinking about how im disgusted by holding a gas pump but yet, I have no problem drinking my beer from a cup that ten other people drank out of, and a backwash covered ping pong ball was just thrown into it after hitting a dirty a$$ garage floor??
Youth is wasted on the young.