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I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
I tried to log in on my ipad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don`t own an ipad. Also, I`m out of vodka.
Of course I’ll buy a polished rock made into a necklace. I’m on vacation, aren’t I?
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.
It isn`t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would`ve been a better option.
Facebook: an alternative to drunk dialing.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
I read Facebook for the pictures.
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
I wish the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial would ride his motorcycle through my town.
Tip of the day: Don`t be a douche!