Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
Considering I`m broke, I wonder if she`ll let me be her sugar-free daddy.
Is there a way to politely throw breathe mints in someone`s mouth while they`re talking?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
Why can`t Mosquitos suck Fat instead of Blood!
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
Does "who cares" count as advice?
I can`t wait to get all liquored up, and then go door-to-door to sing some Christmas Carols when it starts to warm up in April...
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE” !! I’m happy to report that I succeeded…
The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere.