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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
My mom at night: Good night, sweet dreams I love you. My mom in the morning: Wake the f*ck up you lazy piece of sh!t.
I changed the audio of my GPS to a man`s voice. Now it just says "It`s around here somewhere. Keep driving for a little while."
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
Having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It`s IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top.
So how many pokes does it take before its considered a heavy petting?
Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.
Sorry I got really drunk and ended up being really mouthy and offensive at your party next week.
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.
All I need right now is a hug ... And five hundred thousand dollars in cash.