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Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally
Shout out to all the kids who could never find their name on souvenir keychains and license plates. That sh!t hurt.
I hardly know you…. but, Facebook says it’s your birthday, so happy birthday!
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?
I just want to point out that I am an Amazon Prime member so it`s about time you guys started treating me with a little respect.
So how many pokes does it take before its considered a heavy petting?
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
The inside of my fridge: evidence that I’m still not a real adult.
Youth is wasted on the young.
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D
If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.