Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.
I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
THESE NACHOS ARE THE BOMB! …..and that’s how I got my nachos taken away at the airport.
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
I wonder if dogs ever wake up in the morning and think "dear god please don`t take me jogging with you today"?
My daily routine: Wake up, be awesome, go back to sleep.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
Starting tomorrow: Whatever Life throws at me… I’m gonna duck so it hits someone else.
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.