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Omg!! got 6 numbers on the Lotto.. and the stupid machine didn´t pick any of them
My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I`m fearful of her college days.
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
The problem with some people is that they`re breathing.
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head"
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)