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I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
Being `clean and sober` means I`ve showered and I`m headed to the liquor store.
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
Engineers: "okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it"
I seem to start my day backwards. I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.
There’s always that last setting on your windshield wipers that makes you go “damn, calm the f*ck down!”
Dear IRS…I would like an itemized receipt showing me exactly how every one of my tax dollars is being spent. Thanks.
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
Everything just seems much better when you`re in denial
My entire existence is just me sitting around waiting to get hungry again.
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
Bad decisions make good stories.