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What happens in Vegas never happens to me.
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
If I were a cashier I`d pretend people were waiting in line to kiss me.
Didn`t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
Where have you been all my life? ... Please go back there.
I`m no auto mechanic but I`m pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
Uses for the plastic ruler..... 5% to draw stright lines 95 % to hit people.
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.
My rabbit died yesterday… Now he’s just some bunny that I used to know…
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.