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The best thing about not being with you, is not being with you.
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
I want to be something scary for Halloween so I am going as a positive pregnancy test......
Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
I just saw a disclaimer that said “don’t try this at home”, so I tried it at my neighbors house.
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don`t stop long enough for you to reply!