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Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
I wonder how often I’ve narrowly avoided death without even noticing.
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
It`s not hotter this year. It`s just that you are fatter and there is more surface area for the sun to hit.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.
A fear of mine is a proctologist with poor depth perception!