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What sort of drug abuse and debauchery has to occur in someone`s life for them to start liking Charmin Toilet Paper on Facebook?
As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents. The second half will be ruined by our children
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
Still haven`t answered my life`s calling... I`ve always just assumed it dialed the wrong number.
Just realized that 90% of Disney cartoons involve lying about your identity to get someone to love you.
Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
People says nothing is imposible.. But i do nothing everyday!!
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
have you ever looked at someone and thought, "yeah you definitely have someone locked away in your basement."