Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes all you need is $500 million dollars.
My doctor told me to stop drinking...Then he told me to stop laughing.
It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
I haven`t been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn`t lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I`ve told to cops.
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they`re dead
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else
Sometimes you just have to logout...
I hear you`ve been very naughty ... Go to my room!
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
Someone once told me, βGO FOR BROKEβ !! Iβm happy to report that I succeededβ¦
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....