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Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that`s your ghost outfit forever.
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
It’s a good thing the fate of mankind doesn’t depend on me turning on the correct stove-top burner on my first try.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I`m older than the Internet.
You know your a$s is ugly when you`re the one always asked to take the photo.
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
If he pauses a video game to text you, he`s probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,
This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
Baby Polar Bear: Mommy, am I really a Polar Bear? Mother: Of course you are. Why? Baby Polar Bear: `Cause I`m fukcing freezing!"