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To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.
What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?