Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
I don’t mind going to work. It’s that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
I just want to be as thin as my patience.