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Today`s big idea - Coffee eye drops
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
You know it`s good advice, when your still confused afterwards.
The secret to dancing is to pretend you have a wedgie and you`re trying to get it unstuck without using your hands.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
I don`t like people who can`t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
I do not argue, I explain why Iām right.
it`s friday o clock
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
Remember, I`m always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on.
I finally did it. I gave my cat a bath today. It really wasn`t that bad. She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Other than the fur sticking to the roof of my mouth, it went well.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch yesterday.