Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
I thought I was having deja vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
You can’t call them “love handles” if nobody loves you
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
May the bridges I burn light the way.
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
My wife has spent all day arguing that she isn`t stubborn...
This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like`s your idea"
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.