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I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
HANGOVER!!!!! it`s God`s way of sayin "u kicked a$$ last night"
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
If people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.
Sometimes I think "Screw this ... I`ll just be a stripper!"
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.
I need to tell you something. I know it is going to break your heart and maybe you will not talk to me after the bad news. But I want you to hear it from me first instead of hearing it from someone else. This is going to make you cry I know. I first thought I must just keep quiet about it but I know it will not be fair on you. I am so ashamed to have to do this but you need to know the truth. Don`t be mad at me please. I will understand if you never want to hear from me ever again but it m