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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.
The best thing about being single is all the sleeping around you can do…I can sleep all over my bed!
I`d have a longer attention span if things weren`t so shiny.
I`ll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way.
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That`s how this works.
Holy sh*t! Did you guys know Facebook has a "sign out" button?
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
thinks it`ll just be my luck to win the Lottery tonight ...... and the world WILL end tomorrow!